Einstein Was A Spy
by Michael P Calligaro
Frank caught himself just before he nodded off. He
blinked rapidly and shook his head in a futile attempt to clear it.
Glancing at his watch, he sighed. The fool up there had already gone ten
minutes over and wasn't showing any signs of wrapping up. No, not "fool,"
he corrected himself. His learned colleague, who hadn't done anything with
his life but run experiments to verify smarter physicists' theories, seemed
intent on taking all afternoon to discuss his "clever" insights on the
universe.
As painful as Rob's presentation was going to be, at least it would be
more interesting than this one. Frank glanced over at his friend and once
star pupil. The young physicist kept clenching and unclenching his hands,
and occasionally he took a deep breath. Frank tapped on his shoulder and
he jumped. He looked over with scared eyes and Frank gave him a reassuring
smile. Nodding quickly, Rob refocused on the current presenter, his heel
tapping of its own accord.
Even though the trouncing Rob was about to receive was absolutely essential,
Frank would certainly not enjoy it. Why couldn't someone else have taken
this enthusiastic, bright young kid under his wing? Then that other person
could have been the one to sit back and watch his virtual child's hopes and
dreams crushed by a cruel and unforgiving panel of University scientists.
The answer, of course, was simple. There wasn't anyone else.
He glanced around the room at the University of Michigan's finest as well as
a few scientists flown in from MIT and Stanford to make for a proper
multicollegiate panel. Unsurprisingly, each looked bored out of his skull.
But more importantly, Frank knew none had that spark of brilliance necessary
to truly understand a great new theory. Yes, they'd do their job
perfectly.
Movement by the door caught Frank's eye. Who were the two linebackers moving
to flank the exit? They stopped and stood at stiff attention, like ROTC
trainees or even statues, their faces devoid of emotion. He tried to follow
their gaze, and it didn't appear they were looking at the current presenter.
In fact, it almost seemed like they were looking at Frank. No, their eyes
fell just to his right. Frank glanced back at Rob. What did those two want
with him?
Others in the lecture hall started showing signs of life, and Frank realized
he no longer heard the droning of the presenter. He turned forward and
caught Rob nervously walking to the podium. Rob glanced at him and he
nodded.
Rob reached the podium and, with a deep breath, addressed the panel. "Good
afternoon."
The piranhas attacked immediately. Whitmore from MIT spoke up. "Young man, I
don't know what passes for science at the U of M, but this is the most
disgraceful paper I have ever seen!" Frank had tried to prepare Rob for the
reception his ideas would get, but he could see he hadn't done a sufficient
job. Rob reeled as if hit by an uppercut.
"I'm sorry, sir. But while I realize this is controversial--"
"Controversial? This is a downright travesty! You're saying it's possible to
travel faster than the speed of light!"
Frank clenched his teeth. They didn't have to be insulting about it. Rob's
voice shook. "Yes, that is what I'm--"
"But what about Einstein? What does he have to say for your theories?"
Rob's face was turning red. He frowned and shook his head. His voice
cracking, he blurted, "Well, maybe Einstein was a spy."
That shut them up. The room sat in silence for a moment; then Dean Johnston
cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lawheed. Did I hear you correctly in
asserting that Albert Einstein was some sort of spy? For whom?"
Rob closed his eyes and leaned forward on the podium, exhaling slowly. "I'm
sorry for my outburst, my learned colleagues. It's just that his theories
have effectively kept us bottled up in our little corner of the universe for
a hundred years. Anything that limiting deserves to be revisited from time
to time."
Whitmore started up again. "Revisited? Show me a theory from the twentieth
century more heavily tested than relativity."
Rob relaxed slightly. He had argued this point with Frank many times before.
"Sure, put an atomic clock on an airplane--"
"Or just note that particles in an accelerator don't go faster than point
nine nine nine c no matter how much energy we pump into them."
"Yes, yes. I'm not disputing the experiments so far."
"Then what, pray tell, are you doing?"
Through clenched teeth, he snapped, "I'd love to tell you, if you'd just
stop interrupting me." The Dean glanced at Whitmore, who stayed silent for a
moment. Rob continued. "I'm suggesting that the experiments to date have
been flawed." Whitmore threw up his hands and shook his head.
Dean Johnston spoke quietly. "Go on, Mr. Lawheed. Flawed in what way?"
"Well, if Einstein was a spy, he was a double agent. You see, he left a
clue." Whitmore looked ready to stick his fingers in his ears. Frank had
dealt with that bozo before and had always come away frustrated. He didn't
relish the thought of going head to head with him as Rob now was.
Rob continued. "You, Mr. Whitmore, talk about 'relativity,' but you're being
sloppy. It's not 'relativity' that says you can't go faster than the speed
of light; it's 'special relativity.' Einstein's general relativity is far
less famous, but should be well known amongst such a distinguished group of
physicists." This came laden with sarcasm. He was letting his anger get the
better of him. "But, just in case you've forgotten it, general relativity is
about gravity. I'm suggesting the tests are flawed because they've all been
conducted near a massive gravity source."
Whitmore started up again. "Are you that unread? How about the Ceres
test?"
Rob shrugged. "Still conducted near the biggest gravity source around."
This took Whitmore aback. "What? The sun? What do you want to do, set up a
supercollider on Pluto?"
"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of a station outside of
Pluto's orbit."
This brought nervous chuckles from many of the attendants. They were
certainly living up to Frank's expectations. Whitmore laughed out loud. "And
where do you expect to get funding for this half-baked scheme?"
Rob sighed and stared out over the crowd. "Obviously not from you." He
straightened the papers in front of him. "Now, before I waste any more of
your time, are there any more questions, or can we all get back to our
normal activities of bottle washing and bean sorting?" He glared at them,
letting his eyes rest on Whitmore.
The different scientists looked at each other. Then they too glanced to
their colleague from MIT. He shook his head. "I don't have anything else I
want to ask him."
Rob grabbed his papers, said, "Thank you, then," and spun on his toes. He
marched out through the door behind the podium, tossing his notes in the
trash on the way out. Frank sat in silence, ignoring the chatter from the
other scientists. He glanced back and saw the linebackers look to each other
and stiffly leave through the door they had guarded. With a sigh he stood up
and addressed the panel. "You just don't disappoint, do you?" He grabbed his
briefcase and followed after Rob.
Pushing his legs faster than a man his age should have been able to, Frank
caught up with his former student as he stormed across the Diag. The green
area in the center of campus was full of students working on their tans, not
studying. Of course, that was typical of the laid-back summer quarter. Frank
yelled, "Rob, wait!"
Rob ground to a halt and spun on his toes, focusing an angry glare on him.
"They didn't even listen to me, Frank. They didn't even spare me a second's
thought."
Frank pretended to try to catch his breath, throwing in an occasional
wheeze. He nodded. "I know, Rob. They were unnecessarily brutal. But I did
warn you about this."
Rob's face fell. "Yeah, you did."
"Come on, the Brown Jug on me."
They walked back to South University Street and up to the campus' prime
greasy spoon. The Brown Jug was named after some football trophy Michigan
continuously beat some other team for. Even after fifteen years of teaching
here, that was all Frank knew about its origins. The football scene was well
below Frank's tolerance for useless activities.
Rob pulled open the heavy wooden door and held it for Frank. Just as he
stepped over the threshold, he glanced back in the direction of the Physics
and Astronomy building and noticed the two unknown men from the lecture hall
walking up the street. Shaking his head, he entered the Jug and grabbed a
table. Since it was early afternoon in the summer, the place was empty.
The young waitress bound over to their table with menus in hand. She was
obviously happy for something to do. "Slow day?" Frank asked.
"I'll say!" She smiled. When neither Frank nor Rob touched their menus, she
asked, "Do you already know what you want?"
Having both eaten at the jug enough times to know what few meals were worth
considering, they rattled off their orders. The waitress appeared ready to
stay and chat, but Frank gave her glare and she slouched away.
He turned to Rob. "So, today you had your first professional trouncing by a
board of scientists. How many years has it been since you took my freshman
physics class?"
Rob smiled. "Like ten. I remember that class. You were one of my only
teachers who didn't mind my asking lots of questions."
"That's right! The rest of the physics department hated you! It's easy to
lecture verbatim from your fifteen-year-old notes. But when a student asks
questions, sometimes you actually have to think."
Rob grinned. "Oh, no, we wouldn't want that. What would the other colleges
say?"
They both chuckled and Frank was glad to see his friend starting to get over
his disappointment. "And I don't think many of the dinosaurs on that panel
have had an original thought in a century."
With a sigh, Rob said. "It certainly felt that way today."
"Well, not everyone can be inspirational. Like when I was your mentor
through grad school, carefully molding one of the most brilliant young
physicists I'd seen in a long time."
"Hah, you told me to drop physics and go into biology!"
Frank shrugged. "Sure, I've been telling you that all along. Biology is a
safer field," in more ways than one, he thought, "and I was only trying to
shield you from what you went through today. I mean, if you invented
something new and tangible and handed it to them, none of those idiots could
argue that it couldn't be done."
Rob nodded. "I suppose that's true."
And now was the most crucial part. The answer to this question meant the
difference between years of work ending in failure or success. Evenly, Frank
asked, "So, what are you going to do?"
Rob exhaled loudly and his face fell. "I don't know. They're right. I could
never get funding for this. And without funding, there's no way to test my
theories. Maybe I'll see what biology has to offer. Of course, I hate
biology."
Frank worked hard to contain his elation. Success. * * *
Half an hour later, they stepped out into the warm sun and ran into the two
men from the lecture hall. The broad-shouldered guys looked almost
identical, from their short brown hair to their square jaws and piercing
brown eyes. They stood ramrod straight in front of a sleek white car. One
must have gone back to get it while the other stood guard at the Jug. Rob
looked at the car and whistled. It made Frank uneasy.
The one on the left spoke in a flat voice. "Robert Lawheed?"
"Yeah, that's me. What can I do for you?"
The one on the right answered in a similarly strange voice. "Our employer
would like to speak with you about a business matter."
Frank recognized the car. It was made by Mystikeep, the pure research
company that had invented cold fusion. They also created the world's first
lifelike androids. He looked at the two linebackers again. Their faces
stayed immobile as they fixed their gaze on Rob. When they blinked, they
each did so at the exact same time. While the original Mystikeep androids
were lifelike, they would never have passed for humans. Could these be an
upgraded model? If so, who could afford two of them and a car? The
realization chilled his very soul. His mind working furiously, he turned
hastily to his friend. "Stay away from these guys, Rob. They're bad
news!"
Rob arched his eyebrows at him. "Why, Frank? If big guys like that wanted to
hurt me, they could have just grabbed me."
One of them spoke up. "Yes, please realize we will not harm you. We will
only bring you to our employer, where you will speak with him. We will
definitely have you back by tomorrow morning."
Rob looked to them in surprise. "Tomorrow? Where is your employer
located?"
"The Seattle area."
That confirmed it. Rob's face became one of disbelief. "Wait a minute, are
you saying you work for--"
"Please Rob, you really don't want to talk with these guys."
He turned back to Frank. "What's gotten into you, Frank? How can it hurt to
hear what Mystikeep has to say?"
It hurt to watch his success rapidly degrade to utter failure. Mystikeep had
no qualms about spending years and billions of dollars researching the most
crazy schemes around, like room temperature superconductors and cold fusion.
They also tended to hit on those crazy schemes and, by doing so, generate
enough income to fund the next even more crazy idea. If any non-governmental
entity could fund Rob's research, it was Mystikeep.
What could he do? Whatever it was, it had to be right now. But as the moment
of truth arrived and the situation called for drastic measures, could he
really take the necessary path? He doubted it. His voice shaking, Frank
pleaded, "Rob, don't make me do this."
"Do what Frank? You don't have to come. I'll only be gone for the
night."
The mere thought of what he was contemplating made Frank feel ill. His hand
shaking, he reached toward his friend's neck. Rob would never suspect that
his apparently old fingers could easily snap his neck in a second. He just
needed to reach a little farther and . . . He felt his lunch churning in his
stomach, and his vision became blurry.
Rob's concerned voice cut through it all. "Frank? What are you doing? Are
you all right? You look kind of sick."
Concern. He could never kill someone showing him concern. He doubted he
could ever kill anyone at all, but certainly not like this. His lunch
threatening to come up, he spun around and bolted down South University, not
looking back until he was blocks away. His eyes cleared, and he saw Rob get
into the car with the androids. They drove away in the general direction of
the airport. Mystikeep undoubtedly sent a private plane.
The Supreme would be profoundly disappointed in this turn of events. As he
should be. It probably meant the end of them all.* * *
Fren-kah waited impatiently outside the audience chamber. As much as he
hated all visits with the Supreme, this one would undoubtedly be the worst.
It wasn't often he got to inform his ruler that he'd utterly failed in his
most critical mission. The giant stone doors opened silently, and he walked
up to the dais, where he bowed low to the ground.
"Oh most exalted leader of our people, I bring you terrible news."
The Supreme waved his hands. "Get up! Get up and talk to me like a normal
Hadean. You know I don't like all this useless formality." Fren-kah slowly
rose to his feet. "Good, now what's the problem?"
He took a deep breath. "All is lost. The Terrans will have Faster Than Light
ships within ten of their years."
The Supreme sat bolt upright in his seat. "Great God below! I thought we
took care of them!"
"We should have. Our operative's plan was brilliant. He wowed them with a
few parlor tricks to get their attention and then convinced them they could
never leave their solar system. They haven't even tried for over a hundred
of their years. He also gave them a tool that should have lead to their
destruction. But somehow, despite their violent and self-destructive nature,
the bastards managed to keep from blowing themselves up!"
When the Supreme shuddered at his vengeful voice, Fren-kah bowed his head in
mock shame. "I'm sorry sir. I did not mean to offend you."
"Don't worry," his voice shook a bit. "People with your mutation are
extremely disturbing, but you do have your uses. Please continue."
Fren-kah growled inwardly. The Supreme tried to be a good guy, but whenever
they met he always managed to be so demeaning.
"While they did not destroy themselves, that was just a minor part of The
Plan. The real point was to lock them in their small section of the galaxy
and leave them there. And that worked very well. They are convinced that it
is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and they teach this
as dogma, refusing to hear anything to the contrary."
"Then how will they ever make an FTL ship?"
"You see, they have their own mutants. Most Terrans are little more than
herd animals. They'll believe anything their leaders and scientists tell
them and never question it. Usually the amount of raw ignorance and
stupidity is enough to squash all beneficial effects of their mutants'
creativity and intelligence. But not this time. One mutant deduced the true
nature of gravitation and the speed of light and has managed to go outside
the normal herd. I'm confident that he will develop a working FTL ship
frightfully soon."
Bordering on reproach, the Supreme asked, "I hope this situation did not
take us by surprise."
Fren-kah laughed. "By surprise? I recognized this Terran's potential over
ten of their years ago. I've spent my time since then trying to redirect his
brilliance away from physics towards a more harmless discipline. He would
have none of it. There is only so much you can do by peaceful means."
The Supreme looked sick. "Couldn't we have," he coughed and continued in a
small voice, "taken care of the mutant?"
"What do you mean? Kill him?" Fren-kah derived some sort of sick
pleasure in watching the Supreme cower in pain. "You can hardly even allude
to that. Mutants like me who can actually think and talk about it are
terribly rare. To find one who can actually bring about the act is almost
unheard of. And those who can are never good for more than one mission. Do
you know what happened to the original Terran operative, the one who
implemented The Plan?" The Supreme shook his head. "We left him there for a
bit and let him pretend to die of old age. But the damage had already been
done. By the time we shipped him back here, he had gone insane. In the end
he killed himself. Frankly, there is not a Hadean in existence today who is
capable of killing another sentient being. But God knows I tried." His voice
shook and a tear came to his eye. "Rob was right there. All I had to do was
reach out and, and . . . but I couldn't even lift a hand to him. I couldn't
even hit him, damn it!"
The Supreme took a while to compose himself and then spoke in a low voice.
"If that violent race of animals ever finds us, we will be destroyed for
sure. What can we do?"
The pause had given Fren-kah time to control his anger. Now all that
remained was despair. "The universe is a big place. Maybe they won't find
us."
"That's a lot to hope for."
"Yes, but hope is all we've got left."